“The years teach much the days never know.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson I walked down to the river today. Between the ice sheets of winter, water was still flowing. I was feeling like the river today. My life flowing between sheets of melancholy and hurt. So I sat down beside the river, and became one with my thoughts. I asked silent questions to the river, pausing … Continue reading Looking for Reason

The Young Lady wasn’t happy anymore. She was sleeping too much, or not at all. She was tired, cold, and flunking out of college. She silently screamed at the world every night, but the world never answered. She was tired, so tired; and she knew that she couldn’t go on for much longer. Her world was almost empty, except for a few of her very … Continue reading In the Eye of the Storm

“I’ve noticed that sometimes when we aren’t actively searching for something, what we seek, finds us.” -Darryl Webb I haven’t been able to put many thoughts together lately. My writing chain is missing a few links, so I’m keeping it simple. I found that the internet is full of writing prompts. I am going to answer 5 mental health related questions I found online. Do … Continue reading Five Questions

“Good writing is good conversation, only more so.” -Ernest Hemingway I have always loved the night. I am fascinated by the stars, by the shadows. The world takes on a new appearance without daylight. Most of my creative thinking comes with the fading of the light. It’s a new world without the sun. Darkness can also take over my mind. I have learned so much … Continue reading Things I see in the Darkness

“It takes two to speak the truth – one to speak and another to hear.” -Henry David Thoreau There are many of us walking the earth. We are the sorrowful. The worn down. The traumatized. The lost. We are suffering, but we are strong. I have met numerous others with mental health struggles. I have chatted with the young and visited with the elderly. We … Continue reading New Perspective

“The best way out is always through.” -Robert Frost Dear Bipolar Disorder. Manic depression. Mood disorder. Brain Pain. Mental Illness. Whichever term you prefer; I have some thoughts about you. You never knocked before you entered my life. You didn’t let me prepare for you. You were near me as a little child, but I didn’t know you then. I grew older. You grew stronger. … Continue reading A Letter to my Illness

“If you could read my mind, you wouldn’t be smiling.” -Tamara Ireland Stone I saw the sun today. I saw the clear blue skies. I did not care. The world is not beautiful anymore. I haven’t been doing well. That has been apparent for months now. I am not getting better. I am tiring. Life is losing its sparkle, and it’s fading faster now. I … Continue reading It Isn’t Beautiful Anymore

“So tired you want to quit, then you get more tired, and forget to quit.” – Charles Bukowski, South of No North Sometimes I feel useless. Like I’m not doing enough, or else not doing things well enough. The pressure of trying to be positive and productive can become heavy and burdensome. I can’t think clearly. It is much easier to sleep than it is … Continue reading Small Victories

“Would they be cheered by their recovery, or marked for life by their trauma?” -Dan Wells, Ruins Sometimes I dwell on the negatives. Sometimes I dwell on the past. Sometimes I enlarge my every mistake until they are all I can see. I become a mistake. A walking, breathing example of doing nothing right. Sometimes I think about the dark times, I think about being … Continue reading Ruminating

“The most critical time in any battle is not when I’m fatigued, it’s when I no longer care.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough I am tired. I am unproductive. I am forgetful. I am numb. I have been eating. I have been sleeping. I have even been having some fun. But when night comes, I am glad. Glad that I can give up on another day. Part … Continue reading Living Underground

“We survived. You and I. And those who survive have a duty. Our duty is to our best to keep on living. Even if our lives are not perfect.” -Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage Discouraged. Exhausted. Broken. Lost. Again. Sometimes everything goes right. You’re feeling good, feeling happy. You wake up to opportunity filled days. And you fall asleep at … Continue reading The Art of Keeping On

“One day, you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again.” – C.S Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia I walked through the hospital yesterday. I passed by the mental health centre, and meandered familiar halls. Between 2015-2017 I stayed in the psychiatric ward eight times. Visiting this area never fails to bring back memories. A web of memories from a traumatic past. My first … Continue reading Reflections