The world turns. The people smile. Laugh. Cry. But not me. I feel frozen in time. Feeling myself fall apart. My life on pause, I stare at the ground. And there I see myself, in pieces. Slowly they fall, landing softly at my feet. I am falling apart. And I see myself, in pieces. So many pieces. I am thinking too much. Vividly recalling all … Continue reading Pieces

Days go by. Seasons pass. Some things change. Others never will. Life goes on. And through it all I find myself learning many things. Life is ever changing, and I am being shaped by the sun, the winds, and the rain. Some days are a blur, some hours an eternity. But all days pass away, into the stream of time. New days bring new opportunities, … Continue reading Still Living, Still Learning

Mental health struggles bring many challenges. Different moods, thoughts, and feelings that can prove difficult to deal with. We need to be able to talk about our feelings and get the proper help when we need it. Unfortunately, there are barriers that stand in the way. One is silence, and the other is stigma. Two words that are very closely connected concerning mental health. The … Continue reading It’s Okay to Talk

If you have ever asked me how I am doing, most likely I will tell you that I’m doing okay. Which is often the truth. But sometimes I wonder what people would think if they knew a little more about me. Words that go deeper than one would hear in casual conversation. Maybe you don’t care to hear more from me. But if you do, … Continue reading Take a Walk With Me

It has been a rough week. Not sure how else to put it. Storms are raging inside my head. It isn’t pretty, and I am not going to paint false positives to cheer things up. Not to say positives don’t exist right now. There have been some good moments lately. But just moments. My illness has been in control. Bringing with it a spin cycle … Continue reading Mind Under Assault

Sometimes I begin to think I have life figured out. I have a foolproof plan to deal with all of life’s challenges. A great attitude paired with enough coping strategies to fight off any episodes my illness might throw at me. But when faced with reality, this plan crumbles. It is laughably unrealistic. In reality I struggle during all of my episodes. Sometimes I get … Continue reading Words For The Weary

Thoughts run through my head. But before I can properly deal with them, they fade away. Like fireflies dancing in my head. It ends with a feeling of uneasiness. And then the fireflies come again. And again. The thoughts range from thrilling to unbearable. Excitement. Anxiety. Depression. Confusion. Numbness. Sometimes no thoughts, not even one. Only emptiness. I am functioning just fine. Daily activities are … Continue reading All Mixed Up

Five years ago. I was getting familiar with depressive and hypomanic episodes. As a 17 year old kid, I was about to say goodbye to everything I thought I knew about myself. What follows is a journey of victories and setbacks. Highs and lows. A story of survival. And as the show goes on, I am continuing to discover who I am. New triggers, new … Continue reading Self-Discovery

Being a support person can be challenging in many ways. It can be difficult to balance caring for a loved one and remembering to look after yourself. Being a support person in someone’s life can also be very rewarding. We feel their pain, but we can feel their happiness, their peace. Here are five ways you can help someone who is struggling: Educate Yourself: One … Continue reading Five Ways to Support a Loved one through Mental Health Challenges

My eyes are open, I am not seeing. My ears are open, I am not listening. Words escape from my lips, I am not speaking. I am losing daylight. I am shutting down. I am seeing sadness. I am hearing whispers inside my head. I am speaking with my demons. I am in a world where my past traumas come back to greet me. A … Continue reading Losing Daylight

They come as whispers on the wind. Creaks from the walls. Screams from the darkness. I carry suicidal thoughts around with me everywhere I go. They are ingrained in me. I am one of the many who must constantly deal with suicidal thoughts. The thoughts started becoming apparent when I was sixteen. They increased as my mental illness became more apparent. At times they have … Continue reading Living With Chronic Suicidal Thoughts

I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently. Last summer I started writing this blog. It was a big step for me at the time. I started putting myself out there. And as I grew more comfortable, I was able to share my blog with more people. In the beginning I said that if I could help just one person, then this journey would … Continue reading Moving Forward