How many times?

Will I run into the same wall?

Before I shatter into a million pieces,

Or finally find a way around?

How many times?

Will I be left holding,

What seems to be the last straw?

Before I crush it between my fingers,

or find a dozen more?

How many times?

Will I look at my reflection?

Before I spot a third eye, or an antenna,

Proof that I don’t belong?

Or will I accept myself?

How is it possible that one can try so hard?

Make so much progress?

Feel like you have finally reached some sort of peace with yourself?

Only to end up back where you started.

Only more discouraged and jaded.

Because for the first time it feels like you put everything into getting better,

and it wasn’t enough.

And when I go to sleep,

It’s like I can hear my mind chuckling away,

at the fact I even bothered to try.

But the clock keeps ticking, life goes on.

Maybe I’ll stumble on a breakthrough,

to help me over that wall.

But for now,

I have a hard time believing that anything exists for me,

beyond the barrier,

that I keep running up against,

Time after time.