There are millions of people around the world living with many different mental challenges. Today I am honoured to share the story of Dakota McLean. A friend of mine who lives with borderline personality disorder (BPD).

About BPD (via Mayo Clinic)

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.

Signs and symptoms may include:

-An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection.

-A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel.

-Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all.

-Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours.

-Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship.

-Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection.

-Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety.

-Ongoing feelings of emptiness.

-Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights.

-BPD is a lifelong challenge, but many people get better with time and treatment are able to live satisfying lives.

Dakota’s Experience In Her Own Words:

About Dakota:

My name is Dakota McLean, I am 26 years old and I live with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I fell in love with agriculture at a young age. This is fitting as I grew up on a grain and cattle farm, thus resulting in me forming my career as an agronomist. You can often find me playing in the dirt, catching bugs or playing with plants. I enjoy being behind a camera capturing the beauty of another soul. I love exploring and travelling to different places around the world. And most importantly I love creating special memories with family and friends.

Diagnosis:

When were you diagnosed?

I first reached out to a medical professional in 2014. Unfortunately I was misdiagnosed until 2018.

What are your memories about your illness pre-diagnosis? 

I remember feeling frustrated that I couldn’t appreciate my life. Here I was a young girl who was thriving in life. I had a great education, which led me to a well paying job that I loved. Before the age of 23 I had been all around the world and I had a beautiful home that was mine. Beneath all of this I felt miserable inside and did not see the point in living.

Treatment:

I take three different medications- venlafaxine, quetiapine, and aripiprazole. I also go to dialectical behaviour therapy.

Positive Coping Strategies–

-Writing. Organizing my thoughts on paper is such a powerful tool I learned.

-Being mindful. Noticing the emotion I am having and let myself experience it without trying to block it or suppress it. Understanding what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it helps me not overreact. 

-Hot bath and teas. This one is a life saver when I’m having an episode. The sensations (temperature, smell of the soap and tea) distract me from why I’m upset and ground me.

-Talk/surround myself with certain friends or my parents. They understand me and know when I need to talk or if I need a distraction.

Trevor’s Notes

-Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is a kind of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). These are two of the most popular and effective types of therapy.

I am honoured to be able to share Dakota’s story on my platform. We don’t share a common diagnosis, but we share many similar struggles. I hope you appreciate hearing another perspective about mental health struggles in life. Thank you Dakota.