Who am I? I ask this question a lot. Maybe you ask the same. Years of dealing with a wide range of intense emotions and feelings have made this question complicated. All of my thoughts have given me a lot to sort through. Rational or otherwise. Who am I? I am all of it. I am peace and calm. I am fire and ice.

I am depression. I am sadness and loneliness. I am the exhaustion that has me sleeping most of the day, and foggy on my feet. I am lack of appetite, and overeating at midnight. I am the self harm thoughts that appear when I just want to feel something. Anything. I am poor hygiene. I am a blank wall. Cold and dark. I am depression.

I am a firestorm. I am restlessness and a racing mind. I am a pressure cooker that holds chaos inside. I am mixed episodes, feeling everything at once. I am climbing towers and then falling through the floor. I am thrills. I nip at the heels of self control. I long for drama and excitement. I am also under the influence of mood stabilizing medications. I do not burn like I once did. I am embers left over from the blaze.

I am tranquility. I am the stillness of calm waters and a soft breeze through the pines. I am the comfort provided by good company. I am the feeling of hope after a storm has passed. I am a rainbow. I am appreciative and grateful. I am the belief that I have a purpose. I am alive. I am tranquility.

I am all of these. I am fire and ice. I am peace and calm.

I am.