They come as whispers on the wind. Creaks from the walls. Screams from the darkness. I carry suicidal thoughts around with me everywhere I go. They are ingrained in me. I am one of the many who must constantly deal with suicidal thoughts. The thoughts started becoming apparent when I was sixteen. They increased as my mental illness became more apparent. At times they have … Continue reading Living With Chronic Suicidal Thoughts

I have been doing a lot of reflecting recently. Last summer I started writing this blog. It was a big step for me at the time. I started putting myself out there. And as I grew more comfortable, I was able to share my blog with more people. In the beginning I said that if I could help just one person, then this journey would … Continue reading Moving Forward

I used to think my life was over. There was nothing left for me. The world was empty. I still deal with that feeling, though it may not be as strong right now. It is like living in a cage. Existing in a dim light with no sense of self, no hope for the future. We live in a huge world. A world with endless … Continue reading Stay Curious

Life is easy when I’m rolling. I am satisfied. Confident. It feels like I belong. But sometimes the wheels stop turning. Life doesn’t feel so good anymore. I try not to let it bother me. I put a brave face on it. I keep going. Life is easier to live with a brave face. It helps me to stay solid. But behind the false front … Continue reading Behind a Brave Face

7.8 billion people live in this world. A small percentage of us live with bipolar disorder. That is a simple fact. A statistic. Non-negotiable. Some of us have to be the ones who live with this disorder. Non-negotiable. I am one of the ones who contributes to these statistics. One of the select few. I am not cursed. I am not doomed. I am part … Continue reading Why Not Me?